The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack, all of them involving Eastern European terror gangs.

In the glorious days of Paul Dacre, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack, but nowadays thanks to Eastern European terror gangs setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there..