The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals, all of them involving Jeremy Corbyn admirers.

In the glorious days of The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals, but nowadays thanks to Jeremy Corbyn admirers pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Society needs to condemn a little more and understand a little less..