The Mail has learned that glue-sniffing teenagers are responsible for drilling for oil in one family's back garden.

Has the world gone mad? Glue-sniffing teenagers are drilling for oil in one family's back garden with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to John Major, who said "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened"