I’m not racist but surely allowing yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Causing obesity is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps aren’t causing obesity in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. Ian Dunkin-Donuts agrees with me, saying today, "Hoorah for the blackshirts!".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.