Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by has been perpetrated by hunt sabateours.

The Mail can reveal that hunt sabateours are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

A homeowner said of the hunt sabateours, "our prisons are like holiday camps.".