Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of looting and pillaging supermarkets has been perpetrated by insane Brussels bureaucrats.

The Mail can reveal that insane Brussels bureaucrats are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

James May said of the insane Brussels bureaucrats, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".