Conservative head office has today said "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

Speaking at Alton Towers Conservative head office’s comments come in a week that has seen lesbians involved in selling drugs to schoolchildren for fun on an ever more frequent basis.

Conservative head office’s comments are both brave and perceptive. In a country where children as young as five are regularly exposed to lesbians it is about time that someone had the guts to stand up and tell the truth. Lesbians and the liberal communist atheist society that spawns them must be eliminated.