Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone has been perpetrated by gangs of children, some still in their prams.

The Mail can reveal that gangs of children, some still in their prams are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium said of the gangs of children, some still in their prams, "new Age travellers? Not in this age. Not in any age. Let others speak for these New Age travellers. We will speak for their victims.".