I’m not racist but surely allowing Guardian-reading do-gooders to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Causing obesity is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that Guardian-reading do-gooders aren’t causing obesity in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. John Major agrees with me, saying today, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.