The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields, all of them involving Eastern European terror gangs.

In the glorious days of Jacob Rees-Mogg, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields, but nowadays thanks to Eastern European terror gangs holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Surely something can be done?.