Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow gypsies such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but gypsies have this week been revealed as eating babies.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps gypsies would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Richard Littlejohn who this week said, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that eating babies is acceptable behaviour.