Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Hoody-wearing layabouts have been ripping off hard working families outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Ripping off hard working families: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "we are a grandmother".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for hoody-wearing layabouts. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.