Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of helping so-called migrants has been perpetrated by lesbians.

The Mail can reveal that lesbians are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Amanda Platell said of the lesbians, "these dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs.".