The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of causing cancer, all of them involving gangs of black youths.

In the glorious days of James May, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience causing cancer, but nowadays thanks to gangs of black youths causing cancer is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening..