Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by has been perpetrated by the politically correct Islington lefties.

The Mail can reveal that the politically correct Islington lefties are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Nick Clegg said of the the politically correct Islington lefties, "the lady’s not for turning".