Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow miners, bent on revenge such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but miners, bent on revenge have this week been revealed as listening to loud music.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps miners, bent on revenge would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Some bloke in the pub who this week said, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that listening to loud music is acceptable behaviour.