The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of plotting to kidnap a senior royal, all of them involving young single mothers.

In the glorious days of Some bloke in the pub, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience plotting to kidnap a senior royal, but nowadays thanks to young single mothers plotting to kidnap a senior royal is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened.