Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow homosexuals such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but homosexuals have this week been revealed as squatting houses left empty by families on holiday.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps homosexuals would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Bernard Jenkin who this week said, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is acceptable behaviour.