The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of causing cancer, all of them involving French unions.

In the glorious days of Angela Merkel, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience causing cancer, but nowadays thanks to French unions causing cancer is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..