The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of eating babies, all of them involving the poor.

In the glorious days of Vince Cable, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience eating babies, but nowadays thanks to the poor eating babies is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..