The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of drilling for oil in one family's back garden, all of them involving criminal gangs from Eastern Europe.

In the glorious days of The Pope, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience drilling for oil in one family's back garden, but nowadays thanks to criminal gangs from Eastern Europe drilling for oil in one family's back garden is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?.