Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of admiring Jeremy Corbyn has been perpetrated by the Unions.

The Mail can reveal that the Unions are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Norman Tebbit said of the the Unions, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".