The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals, all of them involving enviro-Mental-ists.

In the glorious days of Angela Merkel, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals, but nowadays thanks to enviro-Mental-ists pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!.