The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields, all of them involving thugs.

In the glorious days of Jeremy Clarkson, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields, but nowadays thanks to thugs holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Our prisons are like holiday camps..