In a shocking indictment of our permissive society it has this week emerged that lesbians have been being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul).

Things have gone too far. Its bad enough that we tolerate the spicy food and loud music of lesbians without allowing them to terrorise decent, middle class families as well.

The Mail will be starting a campaign against lesbians and we promise our readers now that we shall not rest until each one of them is hunted down like a dog. Vince Cable speaking in support of our campaign said "we are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense.".

Have things gone too far? Have your say on our webshite!