Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Hoodies have been using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Some bloke in the pub has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists: The True Face Of Evil", Some bloke in the pub says, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for hoodies. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.