The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, all of them involving Guardian-reading do-gooders.

In the glorious days of Boris Johnson, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience defacing statues in Trafalgar Square, but nowadays thanks to Guardian-reading do-gooders defacing statues in Trafalgar Square is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is The lady’s not for turning.