The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) is becoming ever more common, then we learn that hoody-wearing layabouts are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack hoody-wearing layabouts pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals was Theresa May who today said I like sponge.