The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of urinating on the Union Jack, all of them involving followers of Hugo Chavez.

In the glorious days of Jacob Rees-Mogg, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience urinating on the Union Jack, but nowadays thanks to followers of Hugo Chavez urinating on the Union Jack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Read my lips; no new taxes.