Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Women have been terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for women. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.