Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow cyberterrorists such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but cyberterrorists have this week been revealed as causing obesity.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps cyberterrorists would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium who this week said, "Ban this sick filth".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that causing obesity is acceptable behaviour.