Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of training in Al-Quaeda terror camps has been perpetrated by so-called new age travellers.

The Mail can reveal that so-called new age travellers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

David Cameron said of the so-called new age travellers, "the lady’s not for turning".