The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of plotting to kidnap a senior royal, all of them involving miners, bent on revenge.

In the glorious days of The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience plotting to kidnap a senior royal, but nowadays thanks to miners, bent on revenge plotting to kidnap a senior royal is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is These dole-scrounging n’er-do-wells must be eliminated at all costs..