Conservative head office has today said "read my lips; no new taxes".

Speaking at Alton Towers Conservative head office’s comments come in a week that has seen gangs of black youths involved in being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) on an ever more frequent basis.

Conservative head office’s comments are both brave and perceptive. In a country where children as young as five are regularly exposed to gangs of black youths it is about time that someone had the guts to stand up and tell the truth. Gangs of black youths and the liberal communist atheist society that spawns them must be eliminated.