Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow paedophiles such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but paedophiles have this week been revealed as squatting houses left empty by families on holiday.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps paedophiles would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Nick Clegg who this week said, "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is acceptable behaviour.