The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that terrorising innocent investment bankers is becoming ever more common, then we learn that followers of Hugo Chavez are sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack followers of Hugo Chavez sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone was John Major who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..