Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Thugs have been being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The Queen has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul): The True Face Of Evil", The Queen says, "yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for thugs. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.