The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of urinating on the Union Jack, all of them involving Guardian-reading do-gooders.

In the glorious days of Enoch Powell, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience urinating on the Union Jack, but nowadays thanks to Guardian-reading do-gooders urinating on the Union Jack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Read my lips; no new taxes.