Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Criminal gangs from Eastern Europe have been setting fire to libraries outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Some bloke in the pub has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Setting fire to libraries: The True Face Of Evil", Some bloke in the pub says, "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for criminal gangs from Eastern Europe. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.