The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of causing obesity, all of them involving ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy.

In the glorious days of Paul Dacre, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience causing obesity, but nowadays thanks to ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy causing obesity is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is But many of the unemployeds had become static and didn’t know that if they got on a bus for an hour’s journey, they’d be in Cardiff and could look for the jobs there..