Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of plotting to kidnap a senior royal has been perpetrated by hunt sabateours.

The Mail can reveal that hunt sabateours are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium said of the hunt sabateours, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".