I’m not racist but surely allowing ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Urinating on the Union Jack is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy aren’t urinating on the Union Jack in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. The Queen agrees with me, saying today, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.