Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Al Qu’aeda bosses have been sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Theresa May has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone: The True Face Of Evil", Theresa May says, "read my lips; no new taxes".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for Al Qu’aeda bosses. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.