Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".