Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy have been reading the works of Karl Marx outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Ian Dunkin-Donuts has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Reading the works of Karl Marx: The True Face Of Evil", Ian Dunkin-Donuts says, "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.