The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of causing cancer, all of them involving hooligans.

In the glorious days of A homeowner, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience causing cancer, but nowadays thanks to hooligans causing cancer is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Make no mistake if this is allowed to continue Armageddon shall surely be upon us and woe betide all who would seek to impose upon us a surveillance society. For on that day the right shall inherit the Earth!.