The Mail has learned that coloureds are responsible for eating babies.

Has the world gone mad? Coloureds are eating babies with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Jacob Rees-Mogg, who said "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s."