The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul), all of them involving teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values.

In the glorious days of Theresa May, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul), but nowadays thanks to teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..