Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of training in Al-Quaeda terror camps has been perpetrated by anarchists calling themselves the Wombles.

The Mail can reveal that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Paul Dacre said of the anarchists calling themselves the Wombles, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".