Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Glue-sniffing teenagers have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals outside nursery schools.

Terror expert An unnamed source has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals: The True Face Of Evil", An unnamed source says, "new Age travellers? Not in this age. Not in any age. Let others speak for these New Age travellers. We will speak for their victims.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for glue-sniffing teenagers. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.